Building Self-Discipline to Overcome Temptation

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Why Self-Discipline is Essential to Overcome Temptation

Our brain is not compartmentalized. Our habits in one aspect of our life affect all other areas. If you build willpower and discipline in general, this will affect your ability to resist turning to porn. And let’s be honest, who doesn’t like the idea of becoming a better person?

Don’t worry, I’m not going to start selling you generic self-help books. Most of them are a complete waste of time. You’ll read 150 pages of fluff, maybe implement one or two ideas from it for a week, then go right back to where you started. 

(I will, however, briefly recommend How to Be Better at Almost Everything, by Pat Flynn. It’s more strategic, and focuses on developing the right initial approach to self-improvement, which is severely lacking in the vast majority of books in this area.)

There Are No Shortcuts — But There Are Strategies

The trouble with the self-improvement genre as a whole is that it typically promises cheap life “hacks,” as if there’s a secret trick that will bypass all the hard work.

Now don’t misunderstand me, there are tools and resources that make improvement a lot easier. The phrase “Work smarter, not harder” is completely true. But think of it this way: If you’re trying to lose weight, there is no secret diet pill that will make it effortless. But there are strategies, like intermittent fasting, and just generally good advice, like “don’t keep snacks within reach,” that will make it easier on you.

How Fasting Builds Self-Discipline

Speaking of intermittent fasting, that’s what I personally recommend. I lost 90lbs (and counting) that way. But fasting is not dieting. It’s a practice for everyone, not just people who need to lose weight. The Catholic Church even mandates it during Lent. It involves not just eating less, but denying ourselves food at certain times (either during the day, or outside of one meal per day, or for several days at a time). By denying ourselves food when we feel the urge to eat (or just snack), we’re building discipline. We’re improving our ability to say “no” to all urges, not just food. When you start practicing self-denial in other areas of life, that will transfer over to your ability to say no to porn.

(Disclaimer: Please research fasting before trying it, especially if you have a health condition.)

Beyond Food: Other Ways to Practice Self-Denial

Fasting from food is just one option. In today’s world, fasting from social media is often the much more needed practice. Pick anything else in your life that you enjoy, and work on giving it up. It doesn’t have to be a bad habit. It can be a good thing that you enjoy. But practice giving it up for a bit. The more you practice giving up things you desire, the better you’ll be able to say no to porn.

If you want to quit porn, you need to be disciplined. Part of the trouble with building discipline is that so few people really grasp the true meaning of discipline.

True Freedom Requires Discipline

Ultimately, discipline is about freedom. Is an alcoholic truly free if he is a slave to the bottle? Is anyone truly free if they want to say ‘no’ to their urges but can’t? Freedom requires discipline. Discipline is about becoming free. It means not only recognizing the correct choice, but being able to make it. It means being in control of yourself. 

Your brain is a habit-maker. When you treat porn as the answer, your brain will urge you to turn to porn. When you learn self-denial, your brain, like any muscle, strengthens your ability to deny. It doesn’t matter what you’re denying, discipline is discipline. If you learn to deny food when you’re hungry, you will build discipline. When you deny yourself good things like comfort (cold showers are a popular example), you will build discipline. Each time you deny anything you enjoy, you will better be able to resist porn.

Keep Your Motivation in Mind

Why do you want to quit? Why do you want to be better? Are you building discipline out of love, maybe love for God, or love of your spouse? Focus on this, and practice self-denial. Weak people give into porn, but the disciplined can overcome it, eventually without blockers and other tactics. (See here for more on how to stay motivated)

The first few tools were meant to put up barriers and help separate you from porn. We’re now onto the next phase: building discipline so that you eventually won’t need them.

If you are going to take the more spiritual side of things (which I highly encourage, as that is what I do), then I recommend The Liber Christo Method: A Field Manual for Spiritual Combat.

Discipline is like a muscle. Exercise it!

Get Started Now!

Reading about implementing habits doesn’t accomplish anything if you don’t start implementing them. Take the first step today. Below you can get five tools and daily advice to become more disciplined, grow in virtue, and overcome temptation.